Who in the what now? What is '5 Foot 19'?

Hi. The title of my Blog is one of many "snappy answers to inane questions" I like to whip out when asked. The inane question in this case is "How tall are you?"

This question is usually asked by people who have just met me – usually within the first 30 seconds. My answer is "Five foot 19." I then like to give the inquisitor a few seconds to comprehend what I've done, then I follow with: "Come on, do the math!" (The answer is: I'm 6'7").

Most can eventually figure it out. Of course, some faster than others. For the fast ones, I sometimes follow with: "Wow, high school wasn't wasted on you!"

The umbrella idea here is: I love absurdity. I find absurd things, people and scenarios fascinating. I like how a question like "What's that on your face?" or "Who dressed you this morning?" or "Just what in the hell is wrong with you?" are usually off limits between people who just met. But "How tall are you?" is perfectly acceptable. A person may have a gigantic mole on their face, be wearing excessively bizarre clothing, or be behaving like a drunken monkey blazed on magic mushrooms.  Most folks wait a bit before weighing in on querying about those sorts of things.

Another thing I like to do when asked: "How tall are you?" is answer: "Six foot seven". Then I immediately ask: "How much do you weigh?" The smart ones instantly 'get' the situation. It's the same sort of question. But unless the person asking me how tall I am is male and in great physical shape, most people (women and fat bastards, in particular) think "How much do you weigh?" is going too far.

So I'll be blogging about the absurdities I regularly encounter. 

I just recently agreed to (in fact, asked for) the amputation of my right leg, below the knee. After an 8+ year battle with the collateral damage following on from discovering I have a rare genetic nerve disorder, I finally went for the option my doctor suggested a few times over the years.

My first concept for this blog is to chronicle how this is going for a first timer (first major limb amputation!), and the things I note as unusual or absurd that have ensued.

As I launch this blog, it's been three weeks to the day since the amputation.

I'll start a sort of running diary about that, but along the way, I'll interject with any other absurdities that materialise.

Oh, and note I didn't say "welcome" at the top. I hate websites and blogs that start out "Welcome to [insert blog name here]". Who would start such a thing and NOT want people to start reading and feel welcome?

(Now there's an idea for a bizarre blog: "Go away, you're not welcome, don't read this! I'll sue if you do!")

It's two days before Hallowe'en. Let's get scary.