I'm an accidental twerper

The things you say you'll never do ...

I bought an iPad after initially saying there was no need for such a thing in my life, as I have an iMac, a Macbook Pro laptop, and an iPhone. But I succumbed to the ads and the frenzy ... and got one. Did I need one? No, of course not. But I loves me some shiny toys ...

And lo and behold, I'm on Twitter now. I've actually been signed up to this seemingly inane thing for some time ... but after a couple of half-hearted twerts (thwaps?) I gave up on it.

I initially didn't see the point of it, when I first heard of it. Then after joining up due to ... what else do guys do things for?* ... a woman,  I quickly decided it was indeed a silly thing. And that I should stop. And so I did. Until now.

* I believe it was Chris Rock who opined that if a man could get a woman by just living like a hobo in a cardboard box on the street, not bathing or caring about how he dressed, that's the way things would be ... but no, we have to constantly be on our game to ensure we have a chance at female companionship. So we do things ... ANY thing, it seems, that it takes to stay competitive in this gotta-have-a-woman-world.


So I've revived the Twitter account. I'm helping a friend suss out a multi-media promotional concept, and part of this help involves seeing exactly what and how these social networking things are all about. And, if they're useful or just so much e-fluff.

I have loaded up my Twitter "followees" with a few well-known comedians and a couple of mates, and someone who's deploying the same sort of "multiple social network" idea to promote something.

So now I sit back and study, and ponder, and go to school on this stuff. I had heard there was a method of posting on one site and having said post appear on many such things ... and a-Googlin' I went.

I had a look at Tumblr, but it's limited to just itself and Twitter. But then I found Ping, and it appears to be a good method of posting to a whole bunch of things all at once:

Here's the Ping dashboard. Just tick and add

all the other social network sites you want to post to

simultaneously. They're almost all covered, except

for the new Google+. But I'm sure that's coming.

Et voila, here is the current list of Ping-able

social network things. Many I have not heard of.

But it certainly makes sense to have a 

"one and done" idea with posts.

For my friend's project, there'll be a specific FacePlant page, YouTube, and a proper website as well. Most of this 'net stuff is free. But there'll need to be some marketing bucks invested at some stage, to facilitate running around making a nuisance of ourselves, physically getting the idea across to the media by pestering them. It's all about getting the word out.

It's kind of fun to have a reason to be dabbling in all this stuff ... because really, why else would you? Unless you are trying to promote something like a business, how up to date do we all have to be? It's out of hand ... with just the general Joe or Josephine Public posting up minute-by-minute updates re: where they are and what they're doing ... no one cares. You are not unique. You are, in fact, a bothersome entity, and you're in the way. Order your drink and step away from the bar before you start posting up about the cocktail you just bought, you jackwagon. 

Why would you want to be that connected and accessible?

I'm now witnessing how deeply embedded it all can get. Besides posting from a desktop computer, there are apps to post from phones and tablets, too. The only way this can get any more all-encompassing (or invasive?) is if we all got tracking collars or microchips, like raccoons (or lemurs?) in a game park. Just log in to follow the antics of your favourite person/cheeky critter, 24/7.

Handy info to have, little buddy! And with that tracking collar and the

live satellite uplink, we know exactly when the 

wee beastie is chowing down!

Windows update – Click here to download a man with some power tools ... Dean the Landlord is here now, fixing my busted-ass window. For now, it's a temporary swap-over with the window in the laundry room moving over to the bedroom ... until the broken one can be fixed. He is outside in the rain doing the fix ... and likely wishing he'd sorted these old n' busted windows out earlier. Heh.

Winning the nurse lottery – The district nurse was by earlier to inspect my one-little-piggie-down foot. She has proclaimed it doing magnificently well. But never mind that. What has become poignantly noticeable is the level of attractiveness I am being rewarded with, vis-a-vis these home-visit nurses. 

Today it was Claire, a lovely brunette Scottish lass, who is the third smokin' hot nurse I've had visit me in the past few weeks. I have also been inspected and delighted by Nicki (also brunette and gorgeous) and Karen (a honey blonde) – each a stunner in her own right.

While it sucks that I have to go through this medical nonsense yet again, at least I'm getting a good daily dose of eye candy.

Candy coated special delivery – My ISP just sent me a box of top-quality chocolates via courier. Within was a card thanking me for my patience, for how long it took them to swap me over to their new high-tech scheme, featuring a modem that does phone and net all in one. Not to mention, a cheaper monthly rate with more gigs per month in my cap. Thanks Orcon! These are damn tasty.

Lose 20 pounds, look years younger, win friends, get rich, influence people – Well maybe just the 'look years younger' part ... I have dropped a bit of weight due to once again living off of Wellington Hospital's kid-sized menu (where oddly, they will not provide a bottle of wine with each meal). 

As for looking younger ... I sprouted a goatee whilst most recently incarcerated, because once again I broke out in a few pesky cold sores due to the medication and such. This infestation makes it impossible to shave while thusly pock-marked. I hadn't grown the goatee in many years, and it seems now the auburn I was used to seeing in bygone years has given way to a distinguished shade of grey.

Today however, I decided to reclaim my inexplicably youthful appearance (considering the rate and frequency at which I abuse myself), which comes with being clean-shaven ... judge for yourself, here are the before (goatee'd) and after (shorn) shots from today:

Don't look a day over 60 now!

Wedding news down the pipe – As I type this, the sordid and motley crew of friends recovering from a big wedding and pissup (oops, reception) in Parksville, BC, Canada checked in via Gmail Chat. The newly-joined Mr. and Mrs. Knoop (oops, Findlay – sorry Allan!) informed me that Meagen did a keg stand in her wedding dress at the height of the shenanigans yesterday. 

Gillian is claiming no hangover. But things suddenly went dark on Gchat, when it was also announced there was a bit more beer left in the kegs to drink. 

Stay classy, you crazy kids!