Thanksgiving

Ahh, Thanksgiving. As the name suggests, it means a time to give thanks for things.

It means slightly different things to Canadians and Americans. Same concept, just different timing.

The only places on the planet that celebrate this idea as an actual holiday are the USA and Canada. It is meant to mean "giving thanks for the fall harvest" ... not that very many Canadians and Americans are actually out there harvesting stuff, or even THINKING about that concept –  when they know they have a huge long weekend of drinking and misbehaving ahead of them.

Canadians have the first Thanksgiving of each year, in October. That's because our winter generally comes earlier than most of the USA's – and so, our fall harvest happens a bit earlier too. The USA celebrates their Thanksgiving later in November.

Many have said that's just too close to Xmas to be sensible. But then, many more just don't care. It's a long weekend.

Down here in New Zealand, there is no Thanksgiving.

So here's the rumpus. I'm implementing one here, and now – for me, anyway. So it's going to NOT be so much about harvesting, as it IS going to be about fun. (There's not much to harvest in spring ....)

As it's a lazy Sunday at home, and it's a nice warm spring day out there, I say now is as good a day as any to proclaim today, August 25th, KiwiCanuck Thanksgiving Day. For me, anyway. Feel free to drink along with me if you like!

And in the spirit of such a grand thing, I'm going to eat and drink, while I list off some of the many things I'm thankful for here.

As mentioned, this is going to centre around fun. Which of course means drinking, and the freedom therewith associated with said activity ... because, after nearly a baker's dozen years here (that means "13",  for you youngsters who don't know that old phrase) I still revel in all the little differences the drinking life offers me here, compared to Canada*.

*I'll tell one specific story here now, about how constricting, paranoid, senseless, and downright insufferable the drinking rules can be in Canada – so as to include some empirical evidence – to compare the good stuff of NZ life to Canadian fuckwittery: during one of my many trips to have fun in the famous BC ski resort town of Whistler, my mates and I had finished the day of skiing. And like clockwork, we'd kicked off the skis and took the 5 or 6 steps required to start drinking on the outdoor patio of a bar called "The Longhorn". The ski day finishes about 3 pm in winter months there, so you blast down the hill to arrive at the bottom around that time ... and in doing so, you have a good hour or so of daylight 'patio time' to enjoy a beer in the cool yet tolerable temperatures (providing you're still dressed in ski gear). Now when the sun goes down an hour later, so does the temperature, so everyone troops in to the inside of The Longhorn. Which on this day, we did. This of course resulted in a bit of a traffic jam at the one entrance for all us patio people ...  a double-door system with a small vestibule area between the doors of roughly 6' x 6' square dimensions. My mates and I all (of course) still had beers in our hands – which we'd purchased from the patio bar. Well, as my mates and I finally found ourselves far enough ahead in the line to be in said vestibule awaiting the doorman's approval for entry, he looked at the four of us holding half-finished beers, and freaked out. "You can't have beer here in this vestibule!" he suddenly barked. "We're not LICENSED for beer here in the vestibule!" Yep – we could drink on the big patio outside, we could drink INSIDE the bar, but not this tiny little 6' x 6' vestibule. Without skipping a beat, I said: "Well, you'd better let us in the bar then!" And he did. 

Just now, I was having a good yarn with my brother-in-(drunken)-arms, Don, over at Brew Ha Ha  ... and it reminded me why I found life in Ontario so distasteful. Besides the heinous climate, it's the omni-present and overwhelming nosy-parker-ness of that province's (and hand-in-glove, that country's) government, and their pesky rules. Like the beer one mentioned above. And that's just from a drinker's standpoint. If you're a clever and industrious person, they also have many silly rules to work through if you want to open a bar or a craft brewery.

The rules I cared most about in my youth, of course, are the ones that prevented MY specific fun. Or at least the ones that told me where, when and how I could have fun. Now I'm older and wiser ... and I also find myself caring about rules preventing people from setting up fun for me to have.

Specifically, here in New Zealand, I'm REALLY thankful for the much looser laws on where, when and how someone might want to open up a craft brewery, or a craft-beer-centric bar. It appears to be a basic and fundamental process. Want to open a brewery or a bar? Got enough dough and a good credit rating? Have at it!

The things I've found amazing here in the past 13 years (compared to living in Ontario, and to similar extent, living in Vancouver BC) go something like this.

In the past 6–7 years, there has been a multitude of new craft brewers cropping up in and around the Wellington area, as well as up and down both islands of New Zealand. And just as niftily (if that's a word), there have been an astounding number of pubs opening here that deal exclusively in said craft beer. And having these craft brewers and craft brew pubs crop up so rapidly, and so close to me, and consistently ... is FUN!

Meanwhile, back in Ontario, Don says the government has a hammer-lock on much of what happens there when it comes to breweries and pubs opening ... and hence, FUN ... and the one outlet to buy just beer, The Beer Store, has a similar hammer-lock on the rest of what happens.

A craft brewer can of course open up operations –  IF they work their way through the gargantuan pile of paperwork and permits ... spending assloads of money ... but then if that proves successful, getting their beer "out there" for the faithful to buy? Next to impossible.

That costs money – a LOT of money – to get shelf space in either The Beer Store, or the LCBO (the Ontario bottle shop that sells hard liquor, wine, and the more expensive imported and craft beers).  And those are the ONLY two places they CAN sell it, unless of course they somehow wrangled a much more difficult permit to open their own brew-pub.

Which would make it really neighbourhood-centric for potential sales.

Tyrion Lannister – short of stature, yet
large of  wit and beer swilling capacity.

Talk about a glass ceiling – and, a ceiling that's not very high at all. Like, Peter Dinklage (Tyrion) of Game of Thrones-fame high. (He's really short).

Now I know what you're thinking: "Hey Steve, what about approaching other established pubs around the province, and convincing them to give up a tap or two for your amazing new craft beer?"

Ha ha. Good one!

Two problems here: (1) No pub is not going to shut down a proven tap that's making them money, to take a chance on a newbie-brew, that's got butt-loads of flavour and aroma and intrigue about it (aka: a proper beer). And: (2) Convincing the general beer-drinking public of Ontario to try something that isn't one of the established, same-as-all-the-other-beers beers would be like finding hens' teeth. (Protip: Those don't exist).

You see, following Prohibition, beer drinkers in both the USA and Canada (and New Zealand!) were beset upon by the

Nope. No teeth here!

"Big Boy" brewing companies of their respective countries. These were the big-money boys who only cared about profit – like Adolph Coors, and the money-grubbing swine who run Budweiser and Miller, along with Canada's Labatt and Molson – the fat-cats, who rushed to build massive factories (calling these operations breweries would be an offense to actual breweries) with mass-produced, pale yellow, fizzy, tastes-the-same, additive-and-preservative-laced crappy liquid passed off as "beer",  that many generations of people have now gotten used to. So trying to convince Bud or Blue drinkers to try a properly-made, hand-crafted IPA or Stout would be ... impossible. (See: the chicken over there, and her lack of teeth ----->)

So Canadians (and to much the same extent, Americans) who want to try making proper beer have nearly-impossible hurdles to surpass. In the USA, they have a bit more leeway, but that's ONLY due to the huge population there (there's more folks among the small % of folks who might like proper beer) than in Canada. Not saying there aren't beer aficionados in Canada. But not nearly as many as in the Excited States of 'Mer-ca.

But back to New Zealand. Something happened after decades of big-boy brewers monopolising things here. Craft brewers sprouted not so long ago ... because suddenly there wasn't a government hammer-lock on the distribution of said beer! Not only do we have many and various craft brewers now, beavering away, making fantastic and creative styles of beer. We have many pubs now exclusively dealing to serving JUST those beers.

This is the brewery in my hood – Garage Project – and their
"tasting room".  Just to the left in this photo
are the beer taps, featuring all they have on offer. You may
taste them all, fill up a flagon/jigger, or buy
bottles or cans, once you decide on a style you like.

The craft brewers have more free reign here too (fewer rules to adhere to, or permits to get and pay for, than in Canada), in how they promote themselves. With very little (permit-style pesky) trouble, then can open up a "cellar door"* tasting-style room within their breweries – offering up samples of their wares to anyone who wants to drop by to taste them and see what they're like. Folks can also buy and fill large containers (flagons or "jiggers") of draft beer from these cellar doors, to take home and enjoy. Lately too, these small breweries are experiencing success ... and, they're growing a bit, and investing in bottling and canning machinery – so you can also buy their packaged goodness directly from them. And of course there are some breweries with brew-pubs attached.

*The cellar door concept was first a winery thing – which also happens here a lot – so why not breweries too? Why not indeed! And so it began ... and so I vastly enjoy visiting these things!

Here is the beer aisle at a grocery store near me. The cheap
mass-produced stuff is on the bottom; as you go higher up on the shelves,
the local craft and import beer is featured.
And around the corner from this aisle are a few more featuring wines.

But that's not the only place you can buy good craft beer here. We don't have state-owned (nyet, comrade!) beer and bottle shops. It's all free commerce, with privately-run shops. And, we can buy beer and wine in grocery stores.

And the freedom to grow for craft brewers doesn't stop there. All the aforementioned craft beer pubs are open and just hankering to put their stuff on tap. And a vastly growing craft-beer-consuming public is eager to see these new craft brews show up in their favourite pubs, too!

Now comes one of the most interesting concepts here in New Zealand, that just doesn't seem to be happening in Ontario (or anywhere in Canada or the States it seems). The craft brewers here LIKE and PROMOTE each other. So much so, that they've formed a common bond with a society: SOBA (the Society for Beer Advocates), which promotes all and sundry craft brewers and activities in the country.

And not only that ... we beer drinkers can buy an annual SOBA membership card for $40, which gives us discounts at all participating pubs and breweries, a couple of private bottle shops – and, first crack at beer fest and event tickets when they go on sale.

The craft brewers all bond together in a friendly brotherhood, with no one brewer trying to undermine the other ... they're united against one thing – mass-produced, bland, crappy beer made by the fat-cats that still have their long-time substandard beer operations going strong.

Established craft brewers rally 'round newcomers to the craft-brewing game to help them out, too. They talk them up on their respective FacePlant pages. They DON'T ignore, bad-mouth, undermine, or try to out-manouevre newbies when they show up on the scene. It just makes sense – one more new craft brewer is another player (for the good-guys' team!) on the field, in the big never-ending beer game.

The many and varied beer taps – and craft and import
bottles in the fridge – at Hashigo Zake.

Craft beer pubs do the same. Any new craft brewer is a new supplier to their operations ... one that's going to bring something new and interesting to the taps and the available stock ... so of course, newbie brewers are greatly encouraged. New beer launches from new brewers (and established ones) happen frequently here in craft beer pubs (craft beer emporium and Cult Beer Bar, Hashigo Zake, has a regular Tuesday night feature every week, with a new beer launch). These are sometimes intermixed with a "degustation" style event, with food matched to specific beers. Outside food merchants, like the fantastic Big Bad Wolf company here, are often happily conscripted to join forces in the fun.

What big TEETH you have – on that sausage!

And lately, there's been a really nifty concept called a "Tap Takeover" happening among the many craft brew bars in Wellington. This is a concept where a single craft brewer is invited in to a pub for a night, to put all their beer options on all the taps. Hence, 'taking over the taps'. The people from the brewery show up and talk up their products, chat and meet with beer drinkers. Oh, and they drink, too.  There are give-aways. Everyone is extremely happy at these fun events. How could anyone NOT be?!

The many excellent beers of the Epic brewing company
were festooned along the bar at the fine craft brew establishment,
The Malthouse recently ...  a "Tap Takeover", where EVERYONE wins!

Tap Takeovers are of course promoted via SOBA too, and other brewers' FacePlant pages. The other brewers (and their staff) will show up to a Tap Takeover and cheer the newbies on. The atmosphere of camaraderie is vibrant, and fun.

Other fun things I'm thankful for with the breweries here are the "customer appreciation" days that breweries sometimes do for us – a mostly-free day of beer drinking at a brewery. The last one I went to was a sensational day of beer drinking and BBQ-eating fun, courtesy of Tuatara Brewing. For the meagre pittance of a bit of cash ($10) to offset the busses they hired to take us to (and from) the brewery, it was a landmark day of maximum fun. We came, we saw, we consumed excellent beer and food.

And of course there are a number of annual beer fests here, where all the crafty breweries gather to offer up their wares under one (big) roof. We've just had Beervana, and not long before that, a midwinter (aka "Matarkiki") festival. Coming up soon will be an Octoberfest one. The fun never ends!

Beervana is an annual event here – and it
goes without saying, maximum FUN!

Mentioning all this fun (and the accompanying creative business-growing concepts) to Don at Brew-ha-Ha in Ontario today ... well, he ruefully admits no such things happen there.

The Canadian craft brewers suffer from being under the oppressive and expensive thumb of the state-owned distribution centres (all two of them in Ontario), and, from having precious few chances to ever crack existing pubs' established taps ... because it'd cut the pubs' guaranteed profits, and, a downtrodden beer drinking population with no sense of what good beer is wouldn't go for something new (that's actually OLD – the proper way to make beer).

And just as sadly, crafty brewers there in Ontario feel compelled to be in direct competition with each other ... there is no brotherhood of camaraderie and helpfulness among craft brewers like there is here.

It's beer-dog eat beer-dog there. And that's just completely counter-productive and senseless.

So yeah ... I'm hella thankful to be one happy funster – and beer-drinking camper – here!

And you know what ... in 13 years here, I've never been told I can't drink a beer in a tiny vestibule between two 'officially licensed' beer-drinking areas, by a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal of a doorman. Call me crazy, call me off the hook ... but that's something I never want to have happen again!

Three Boys make one hell of a nice
Oyster Stout. And I'm glad. Otherwise
I wouldn't get to make that fine pun there.

Things are just about perfect here in New Zealand for me.

The world is my osyter-stout, if you will.

And on that merry pun, I bid you all a hearty "Cheers!" ... and here's hoping that, no matter where you are, you can get your hands on some properly made, tasty, fine beer – without TOO much grief!
















Until next time, I'm still

... in absuridtum extremis!