You will now address me as LORD Steve Cossaboom ...

... or it's off with your head.

Yep, it's official.

Y'all knew it was the case anyway.

But now, according to the FlyBuys people (and who could be more trusted to know), my official title is Lord Steve Cossaboom.

Here's the rumpus.

I applied for a FlyBuys card last week. For you not-Kiwis, this is a card like Frequent Flyer. You swipe it while buying stuff, you amass points. Points can be applied to flights on Air NZ, or you can get some pretty cool toys out of their toy catalogue.

So I went online to apply for mine.

Never before have I witnessed so many options for the honorific thing in a dropdown menu box.

Of course there was the usual "Mr." and "Dr."

But there were others.

"Master" (Considered that one at length).

"Shrimp Boat Cap'n" (Not really ... but that would be fun).

"Dame" (How quaint!)

"Lady" (Couldn't get the Tom Jones song out of my head for HOURS ...)

"Judge" (Heh. Also tempting ...)

"Reverend", "Sister" and "Brother" (I'd do this ONLY if I could play and sing the Blues  ...)

"Lord" was in the mix, as mentioned ... and after a few practice runs saying it, I went for it.

Now, to acquire a wench to demurely call me by this new title whenever she kneels to address me, and while fetching me grog, and when slowly disrobing ...

Oh, wait!